Today I went back to yoga for the first time in 2 months. It was a workshop spread out over the day, 4 hours in total. I really ran the full gambit of emotions and feelings throughout it… There were highs — reaching a position I’ve never achieved before for example — and there were lows — fighting with my nemesis bladdy-bladdy-blah-blah (you know the one) of course, and just not being strong enough for a back-bend. All of this with nasty sunburn on my face, knees and tops of my feet (upward dog was excruciating!). But!
But I want to go back. The lows weren’t so bad. I really made progress and the instructor really gave fantastic advice for the parts of the practice where I needed them most. I actually almost fell asleep during the rest-time at the end of the course — forgetting completely where I was and jumping in shock!
I have lost so much strength too. It’s very frustrating but if I can discipline myself I am sure I can get it back. I got a lot out of this workshop; Greg has a less… terrifying approach compared to Amanda and I felt less compelled to achieve perfection (and thus less ashamed when I failed to achieve perfection). He said many things that resonated with me — about the fluctuations within a practice, whether on a daily, weekly or monthly basis — but also within a single session. I feel better prepared to live within each single moment of my practice and not to dwell on “failure” or worry about what is to come. Or to gloat when I do get it right…
This is something I struggle with on a daily basis, so I am encouraged to go back tomorrow and try again. I have permission to attend Mysore tomorrow morning at 8am, as long as I am independent in my practice… Be there or be square, Rosie!