I did it! I admit, the alarm going off at 6 was a bit brutal for my liking — I haven’t had to set an alarm for several months and I actually considered not going to yoga. But then I rationalised that I would probably not get back to sleep. And then I heard this weird noise outside my window and so I had to get up to investigate:
It’s not a great picture — I had to dash in and grab my phone as my camera was as usual MIA. But it was very weird, these huge silent hot air balloons hovering just above me (the photo makes them look so much smaller and distant, but they were right on top of me!). My disaster-prone imagination worried they were out of control and careening towards Fitzroy but they quickly regained altitude and moved back to a suitable distance from my roof.
So with that unusual awakening, I grabbed my mat and headed off to yoga.
Janet at the front desk was all smiles and welcomed me back as if I had never left. Then I went to the kitchen and shared a hug and a little talk with Amanda, who said how glad she was that I had come back, and that sometimes taking time off to mentally overcome a hurdle can really help you move forwards.
During practice I remembered how exhausting and demanding her classes are… “Ah… so this is why I stopped…” but instead of getting cross and upset I tried to concentrate on just doing my best. I had mentioned to Amanda that my real issues lay with the extended leg standing poses (utthita hasta padangusthasana et al) and so she came over and supported my leg at that point. This makes it harder work as I can’t slack off at all, and I wished briefly that she would just let me do it with a bent knee instead, before dedicating all my strength and attention to keeping my leg high and straight. And then moved on to the next pose with an open mind.
I hope I will be more grateful next time. I need, no, I want to get utthita hasta padangusthasana right, and I’m lucky she is helping me. But in the moment it was hard to remember that, what with every muscle in my legs screaming at me and my balance wobbling all over the place!