really not getting much done

Today I interviewed a girl as a replacement for my job, now that I am free to go. I am starting her trial period on Monday, as I was impressed by her attitude and by her friendliness, but mostly by the fact that she is fluent in — get ready — Cantonese, Mandarin, Vietnamese and English. Yeah. My own French, English and once-upon-a-time-decent Mandarin don’t compare.

It makes me nervous, sad, happy, excited, anxious and impatient to leave. The boss has been scrambling to get leverage and I’m still completely undecided on whether I’ll come back. I am actually in a win-win situation, as I will either come back on excellent terms, or I won’t come back and I’ll get another job somewhere else. Either way, nothing bad is going to happen.

I’ve always known I would have to find someone who was better than me, otherwise the boss would feel betrayed. And Mummy and I discussed how I would need to cope with the jealousy and disappointment of seeing myself replaced — because this was my choice to leave. He doesn’t want me to leave — if I stopped right now and said “I’m sorry! I’ve changed my mind! let’s call the whole darn thing off!” he would be relieved.

Still, I am a little sad to see how the first step of really, truly replacing me has begun. I’ve been here for 3 years (2 years, 11 months, 3 days, to be precise) and it’s a huge change for me. I’ve not stayed in one place so long since… ever! However it’s time to move on… adventures are just around the corner.

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One thought on “really not getting much done

  1. I really sympathise, and you know that even if she is “better” than you, she will never be you, and so in a sense you will always be the best. 🙂

    Reply

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