sometimes it hurts instead

This is my third Sunday of not hashing, marking 2 weeks of not being able to run. I really feel like I’m in a relationship that’s on the rocks; I listen to Adele and cry about not being able to run and not knowing whether it will work out again. I know I should just go and swim (find someone like you!), but considering how much my knees hurt and that I am only really comfortable swimming breast-stroke which would also be bad on my knees, it’s not terribly motivating).

I am going to try getting acupuncture and see if that helps. My knees hurt all the time, even when I’m just sitting with my legs stretched out in front of me. The sensible thing to do is to forget about running for the time being. But that’s like being told to forget about a guy when you really really want to be with them! hence all the listening to Adele. I know when she wrote Someone Like You running was not on her mind, any more than Exit wrote Kickstarts about running, but you know. That’s how just how I feel! I know that I have never been an amazing runner. But it was something that had been slowly gaining momentum, as it was the main focus of my life here in Taiwan, and I had started to think we really had something — those half-marathons were like my form of commitment.

However, I am seeing the silver lining to this cloud. I was losing sight of the fact that the reason I am here is to really pull my Chinese together. I am now strong in conversational Mandarin, but for these last 6 weeks ahead of me I absolutely need to work on my more professional Chinese. I recorded this Friday’s class presentation, and one of my Taiwanese friends patiently listened to my 20-minute speech. She confirmed exactly what I feared knew all along: I am confident and speak well, but I’m flying pretty low in terms of the vocabulary I am using. I get very frustrated about how despite being able to read a fairly impressive number of characters and words, I have a very restricted spoken vocabulary, and I need to change that. Fast. Because in two months from now, I will be working (hopefully) and need to be confident with my Chinese — I really do want a job where I can use it, lest I lose it once again.


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