bananas

Listen to me! Run, don’t walk, run to your nearest banana, cut it into coins, place them on a plate, and pop them in the freezer. Do that first, then come back and read the rest. You’ll thank me.

Ok, we done? now go get some Malteasers, put them in the freezer too, and read on about how following my consumption of an entire pint of Häagen Dazs ice cream yesterday, today I was hoping to find a slightly healthier (not to mention more affordable) option.

But this doesn’t taste healthier. It tastes positively sinful. I don’t know how it can taste so good when it simply involves blending a frozen banana and then throwing in whatever you fancy. I like little crunchy biscuity bits and shards of frozen chocolate in my ice cream, so a handful of Malteasers was the perfect option. Admittedly the Malteasers make it slightly less healthy than if it was something like carob chips, but Malteasers are the bomb, specially frozen, specially smashed up in frozen banana bliss. Cocoa powder would probably turn it into chocolate fudge ice cream.

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Ok, anyway, it’ll take about an hour for those banana coins to freeze, so I’ll let you dream about them for now.

Instructions: put frozen banana coins (or chunks, if you are not in a hurry for them to freeze, and also have a powerful food processor instead of a crappy cheap blender) in the blender. Pulse until they are in tiny little chunks. Throw in whatever you’re throwing in. Pulse some more. Taste. Realise this is like some kind of banana fudge paradise. Scrape into a ball and put in a bowl, using your fingers in a greedy attempt to access any remainders. If you’re really classy, possibly unscrew the blades so as to lick them clean of this amazing-tasting concoction. Obviously I would never do this.

By the way, one banana = one serve of ice-cream. So if you are sharing this with someone else, go ahead and freeze two bananas. Or you know, if you are greedy recovering from wisdom teeth extraction like me, and can justify living off ice-cream. That said, my jaw still hurts like misery and I need to make sure I blend everything a bit longer for the second batch (of course there is a second batch. I’m just writing this to pass the time until the bananas have frozen). Only an hour and 23 minutes till the next round of painkillers! yay.

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