This is a super brief post that I’m writing in a rush. School starts in 5 days and I just discovered the mountain of readings I have to do for it (they never sent me the promised email). I was pretty freaked out when I realised but had little time to do anything as I needed to get off to yoga for the evening.
I rode there (despite my knees screaming; my patella tendinitis is BACK with a vengence; Dr’s appointment made at the Sports Clinic for next week) as I was in a hurry, and enjoyed a particularly strong class. Recently my classes have been average at best, as I keep getting dizzy and having to sit postures out. Today I was very careful to eat regularly throughout the day, snacking every couple of hours, and hydrating well. This all helped me feel strong; but what really helped me improve was the conversation I had on Friday night with Marta about my aforementioned knee injuries. She told me to take it easy and if anything hurt, to stop, but if it just felt “funny” to keep going as that was more likely to be a healing process than damaging. I nodded and said “I wasn’t sure if I should push through it or hold back; in bow posture it’s pretty painful. I never liked bow much anyway but at the moment –!”
Marta — without any judgement in her tone — replied evenly that if I apprehend a posture, it will inevitably be harder because my body will provide more resistance. I nodded again and went downstairs to get ready for practice. I sat out bow on Friday, and only pretended to try it on Sunday, but today on Tuesday I psyched myself up and told myself bow was nothing to be afraid of and it wasn’t going to hurt.
It was fine. Not the most fun of postures; still not that enjoyable; but it was fine.
The same is happening at work. I hate my job; but as long as I remember how much I hate it, it’s almost impossible to do. Today I just pushed my feelings to the back of my mind and did what I had to do. And you know what? It wasn’t so bad. I still didn’t enjoy it — although I did surprise everyone by getting two achievements, which nobody else has done on these campaigns yet — but it wasn’t so bad.
And so I have decided to approach my hundreds of pages of reading. Yes, there’s a lot to read. But guess what! It’s on a topic that I love. That I cherish, even! I pushed my fears about how I’d get it all done in time to one side, and just started. I love it.
I leave you with a couple of my favourite quotes from this evening’s reading:
Objects matter because they are powerful visual metaphors that can bypass language.
Conservation is a process of understanding and managing change rather than merely an arresting process; it is a means of recreating material cultural heritage that seeks to retain, reveal and enhance what people value about the material past and sustain those values for future generations.
I’m going to miss spending my commute reading fiction on my iPhone… but oh the joy of being back in art!